After 21 years of wedded bliss I have just now quantified behavior that has caused…let’s just say friction over many of those otherwise perfect years.
When approaching an expensive or important project…oh, something like buying a sailing yacht, my method is to research without regard to cost or practicalities to gather a large field of possibilities. I find stuff I like, stuff I don’t, giving different weight to things of importance, deal breakers, all with as open a mind as I can muster. Slowly I filter through the field and find the candidates. I check them out. My mind focuses and I begin to close in on the winner. It then becomes a game of price vs condition vs availability.
My mind closes down to focus on what I consider the best choice. Graphically it would look like a funnel, wide at the top and tiny at the bottom.
Marce has a different method. Let’s call it the ever Expanding, ever Evolving, ever Opening-up theory of selection. EEO.
Now, dear reader, we all know she could explain EEO better than I but wouldn’t it be better to gain insight by my trying to put it into words? Well, it starts with years of surreptitious gleaning of information about the project, a timely, “wouldn’t it be if” and, “look at how nice this is.” Now I’m interested, she can be very compelling. We begin. It’s usually something I can wrap my brain around and in short order “it” begins to grow. I suppose that’s normal. As the list expands, and I can no longer wrap my brain around all the contenders, I’m told to “stay open minded.” Now priorities change, I call this the “field shift.” Galley up, galley down kind of thing. Saying, “but Marce, didn’t you like that last one?” runs counter to the EEO philosophy and one might be less than open minded!
So, her funnel is inverted. Tiny at the top, wide at the bottom. She is a force of Nature and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but pray for us just the same.
Open minded in St. Augustine.
4 Responses to The Mysteries of Marce
I’m praying for you two. Also remembering how “field shifts”, funnel inversions, big projects, big decisions and long trips in a car could bring out the need for prayer. In our case, “stay open minded” was a tennis ball that changed court sides depending on the issue. It seems to be part of the territory in a marriage made of 2 very creative people, each with their own formula for life’s transactions.
Laughter helped as did a drink at the end of the day. You may laugh when I tell you we sometimes had that drink while lying on the living room oriental, feet up, very relaxed. In that position we weren’t looking at each other ~ just listening. Just the call to that position was enough to make us laugh.
OK, back to prayer!
When in love one considers “Why” do she do what she she do, and wonders why she do it. DLM
Sounds like you need a spreadsheet to list, rate, weight, add up factors. I could send you one example I have used to buy cars. Seriously.
Yes, we do need to do that. We’ve been too exhausted by driving and hampered by lack of quiet time and Internet access. We’ll get to it.